What You Don't Know About My Mom

It was July of 2006. I went to my mother for advice on which diet program I should begin to get the wedding day body I wanted. She raved about her past success with Weight Watchers and decided she would do it with me, too. She wanted to lose a lot of weight, plus this would give her the opportunity to visit with me at least once a week. And our journey began....

7 months later, I had lost 20 pounds and my mother had lost

over 60 pounds.
Incredible!

My mom and I on my wedding day....

She was walking most mornings and had taken up tennis. Lucas was giving her lessons and she had quickly become involved in tennis programs in two cities.

The weight just kept coming off and my mom was in the best shape she had been in since I was a little girl.

Then..... she got sick.

I have never written about this, partly because my mom is a very "anti-sick" person. She hates feeling bad, she hates complaining about her health, she doesn't want to go to the doctor, she doesn't want to talk about it, and she definitely doesn't want to have to plan her life around a sickness. She doesn't want to be the sick person. And I don't want her to be the sick person, either.

When sickness struck her, it struck hard. There are times when she can't walk across the room because she simply doesn't have the energy or the oxygen to make it. She coughs incessantly - that is brought on by any number of things including walking, talking, laying down - meaning she gets very little sleep.

This sickness has changed a lot about my mother. We used to talk on the phone everyday. This is virtually impossible now. Our conversations used to be long but have grown shorter and shorter as she inevitably begins coughing and quickly runs out of breath. We used to go shopping together all the time. That has ended for obvious reasons. It might not be a bad thing to end a lot of those shopping trips but they are certainly missed. We used to go on little day trips together and even took a family canoe trip just before she got sick.

family canoe tripMy 2007 Mother's Day present -
tickets for us to see Toby Keith and Miranda Lambert in concertOur 2007 Father's Day present - tickets to Atlanta Braves game for my
parents and grandparents - around the time she started getting sick

My mom doesn't go to church or Sunday school anymore - both a social and spiritual routine that is vital to her. When she actually felt like she could make it out the door, she didn't want to disturb the others or be "the weird person" who is always breathing heavy, coughing, blowing her nose. This sickness has cut away at my mom's life and made her an unwilling prisoner in her own home.

For almost two years now, my mom has put her life on hold - for what? The doctors couldn't tell us. Mom ended up in the hospital every month or two - staying an average of five to seven days with each visit - while they ran tests, administered breathing treatments, and tried to figure out what was wrong with her. Each time results were inconclusive. They could find nothing wrong. We were probably the only people in the entire hospital praying that the doctors would find something, anything, even if it was bad.... just so that we would know what it was. Always nothing. But on the upside - she would leave the hospital feeling much better! However, her health would rapidly deteriorate once she got home.

A brief period of 'okay' health.
This marathon day probably took a big toll on her health.

Taking off my pants when I couldn't bend my knees. Good mom :)

She even made everyone these "Team Ashley" sweatshirts

Doctors guessed severe adult-onset asthma, chronic bronchitis, and allergies. She had major sinus issues and even had a sinus surgery. It didn't help. She has spent most of this time hopped up on steroids, puffing out of asthma inhalers, giving herself at-home breathing treatment, drinking cough syrup out of the bottle (not doctor recommended but immediate and short-lived results) - living in a daze.

The doctors here were running out of hope and my resolve was wearing thin - to say the least. I was tired of these "doctors" who kept giving my mother hope but delivered no results. Her doctors finally decided to recommend her to Vanderbilt. Thank you! A small ray of hope that some leading doctor in his field would finally figure out all our problems. This was our next course of action. Then, her doctor suggested she meet one more doctor here to see what he had to say. I didn't like this idea. My mind was made up. She was going to Vanderbilt. But she met with this infectious diseases doctor. He ordered more tests and I thought, 'here we go again.' Wrong.

After a couple of meetings in the hospital and office visits, my mother met with Dr. Spera yesterday. She walked in and he said,

"We found IT."

... more info tomorrow and maybe a visit with my mom in the hospital. Don't freak out. We are happy she is there. :)

Words truly cannot express the relief and happiness we feel. This isn't over yet. But we see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is glowing bright!

This nightmare is coming to an end soon
and I'll have my mother back.